I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
