Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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