I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
