Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
