I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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