i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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