my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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