office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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