wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
