I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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