shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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