just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
God I need to hump something, right now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize