i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
