Already got asked if we're dating
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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