My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize