You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
