I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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