we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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