Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
