you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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