Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
