Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
