pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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