i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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