So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
