i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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