Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
