They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
