I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
