marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
