yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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