**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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