Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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