This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize