How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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