Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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