do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Randomize