If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
