Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
