If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize