remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
