my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
