Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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