We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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