I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
