i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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