No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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