At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize