So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
