he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
