im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
