Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
