If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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