just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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