Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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