Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize