sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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