chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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