his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are we still banned from the library?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
