i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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