she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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