Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
