If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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