I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
