There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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