I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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