How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
